Java with "Joe Bag of Doughnuts"

Gimme a "B"!

This entry was posted on February 28, 2009 4:43 PM and is filed under Alphabet Soup with Joe Bag of Doughnuts.

Time for another installment of "Alphabet Soup with Joe Bag of Doughnuts", and today we are going to explore the letter "B".

"Bastard"

Bastard is commonly used to refer to a child who is born out of wedlock and thus illegitimate. Bastard is also the name of the Evil Fairy who fucks up your day, your week, and perhaps even your Life. Ever trip going up the stairs while carrying a tray of BBQ ribs and have it end up all over your white shirt? Well you can thank the Evil Bastard Fairy for that.

"Bitch"

Bitch is the term used to describe a female dog. It is also likewise used to describe a woman who fucks up your day, or the whore working the street for some pimp. Chances are it was a Bitch who gave birth to the Evil Bastard Fairy. Life too can be a Bitch, because let's face it, if Life was easy it would be a Slut.

"Booze"

Booze is a nectar of the Gods that can help one forget about how the Evil Bastard Fairy fucked up your day, or how that Bitch screwed with your plans, or how Life is such a Bitch. Coincidentally the God commonly attributed with giving mankind Booze was Bacchus who's name also starts with a "B". Some favorite types of Booze likewise start with "B", namely Beer, Brandy and Bourbon, all of which will help one to forget the Bastards, Bitches, and Life, if drunk in copious amounts.

"Bar"

A Bar is a place where one can go to drink copious amounts of Booze, and commiserate with others who are likewise Bitching and trying to forget how the Evil Bastard Fairy, and that Bitch screwed up their day. If one spends enough time consuming Booze in a Bar, one might even meet a new Bitch. Bar also refers to something that can be raised. By raising the Bar one can perhaps avoid falling prey to the Evil Bastard Fairy, or hooking up with another Bitch. While the Bartender might miss your company at the Bar, your liver won't miss all the Booze that is slowly over time destroying it.

So what does all this mean you might ask? Well when you are having one of those days, or weeks, or years, where it seems like the Evil Bastard Fairy is stalking you, or some Bitch is, or Life is just not going as you expected, well you are probably better off raising the Bar rather than going to a Bar and drinking Booze to try and forget about it all. Just a thought mind you, but hell its worth a shot, or two, or three. I personally prefer Tequila.

Cheers ;)!